Dreaded October

This is a month I have learned to dread. It seems it’s not a good month for my family. 11 years ago my father in law passed away on October 7 after 3 years fighting Cancer. Last year as you know my sister in law passed away unexpected on October 9. It makes me sad for Eugenio because he was born on October 11 almost 45 years ago. His birthday is always a reminder.  Last year was so horrible.  There was a time we that we used to spend it on a cruise. I remeber specially one time that we were in Coco Cay, RCCL private island. I’m a little afraid I can’t hide it. Remember I told you that I have done all my medical exams in Holy week and that I was not going back to a doctor until summer 2009? Wrong! After the last time with the high blood pressure the doctor made more blood test and it seems I have anemia again and he wants to do more test. I’m tired of all this. Hate doctors!! Tomorrow is Oct 1 . Please pray for this October to be different. I really want at some time to go back to what we were. What way should we go?? I think alll this problems and sadness comes with age. I like to see my daughter so happy and carefree like I used to be up to not long ago. Sometimes I think there is a black cloud over us and I kept waiting for the other shhoe to drop. That is some days. Mainly i’m positive but like i said before my biggest fear is being sick and not being able to care for my family. Early this morning a jerk came to trash my day and it set the mood. Tomorrow is another day.

From here and there

AHHHHHHH that Naples photos for a moment made me feel the same way I felt when I was there. To many emotions always on the Naples port. Strong emotions it’s like my heart is going to burst. Friends, incredibly beautiful places. BTW I have other clients for my friend. Made me sad after the brief moment of excitement. I won’t give up . I’m going back. My parents are coming back today after nearly 2 months out. Missed them but sincerely I would want them to be were they are happy and in the best conditions and that’s in the US.  My father wants to stay but they can’t do it until they sell their house and that right now is almost imposible. There is another party in my friend house. The first one was so sucessful  that we are already planning  a costume party  on October 25. It’s going to be fun! Looking forward to that. We got to our most recent energy bill. It was for $167. That’s without air conditioner or dryer. Our sacrifice payed off. With the difference we can pay the school. $428 was way to much. Did you know that after all the flooding the governor decided to eliminate our 7%  tax until Saturday? The people that really needed this don’t have money right now. People are now buying TV, computers and other things that are not necessary. It’s so stupid and it says so much about us. What are this people doing? Things in general are bad and people are so shallow.

Rain, Rain, Rain and a miracle baby turns 6

And it’s raining, raining and raining. Everything ok in my town but  some towns are not that lucky and are having problems with flooding.It has been raining since yesterday non stop. Even with all the rain, yesterday we went to the town of San German to my nephew’s sixth birthday. Ethan is the son of my older sister and her second husband. I couldn’t help remembering his birth. My sister married 1 year and half after me. Her husband was Eugenio’s best friend and we used to go everywhere together. That was until he got a new job and a new woman. My sister had a 3 year old daughter at that time. Some years later she meet her actual husband a very good man that loves her daughter and had 2 sons of his own. They were not planing to have any more children but God had another plan and along came Ethan. She was 38 and very afraid. She has had a very bad pregnancy with her daughter ending in premature birth and now she was older. Her fears came true and she spent 4 months in bed. I remember my friend the doctor telling me she was not going to make it. It was a very difficult time with my family. We kept the hope because  we truly believe in the power of prayer. He was premature but he was fine. Now six years later I still give thanks to God for that miracle. We truly has been blessed. WE had a good time at the birthday I was glad I came because for the first time my parents were not there. They are still in Texas. My parents are always there for their grandchildren. So they were really missed.

Not many things to tell and that’s why I don’t write much.

And this is my candidate

This is my candidate for Governor of this blessed island. I was in my classroom for the whole morning and at lunch time I search for him and I found him at the Middle school. He was coming out of a classroom when I grabbed him by the arm. He gave me a kiss and while he was holding my hand I told him No me falles ! , ( Don’t let me down) We are one of those  struggling middle class families and it’s hard. He looked at me and said “I know” and he said thanks.Then we took this picture. That was it. He is a good man and I know he has the best intentions but you know how politics are.  He graduated from the school 30 years ago. Maybe soon we can say the governor graduated from this school. Let’s see

Girls will be girls

It doesn’t matter is we are in our 30’s or 40’s sometimes we behave like little girls. Today was one of those days. This week is politics week at school. Every day one candidates of each of the 4 political parties in our country is coming to talk to the High School students. That’s at the high School’s theater. So far we had 2 candidates for governor. Today was the turn for a candidate of the political party that the governor is. He is a  candidate for the Senate of P.R. He is well known is on our country because he is used to be the Secretary of the department of Consumer affairs. He did a great job while he was there. Making a difference and working hard. I think everyone no matter which party admire him. His name was heard when the federal government pressed charges against our governor as a replacement. He has a good reputation, honest family man.And….. He is handsome….very. So that was the reason of the teacher’s “bad behavior today. Some of us came to the theater to hear him speak and take a picture with him.  When I took the picture with him I told him that i was not in his party but that I will consider voting for him (i’m bad) I don’t like my pic definitely not photogenic at all. Only when I travel. After that we went for lunch and forgot all about him.When I came back to open my classroom he was coming up the stairs in front of my classroom. I opened the door and I walked ( ok as John says run) back to the faculty room and sounded the alarm. “Girls If you want to see him he is front of my classroom” All those ladies got up and “walked” were he was and inmediately started taking pictures with him. But he was coming to my classroom. One of my boy’s is a fan of politics and he was mad because none of them has come to the Elementary school. So he came to see him. While he was on the my classromm I could see the movement outside my classroom. Teachers were coming and going. Very excited running down the hall like little girls. They took pics with the phones and called him from every where. He was in my classroom!! I asked him if he wanted to give them a class that I had 3 free periods for him, He said yes! LOL I was kidding. 34 kids! He was very good with them even when one of them told him he was not from his party. After he left it was veryyyyyyyyyy difficult for me to continue. The kids were very excited. It was a great experience. Tomorrow my candidate for governor is going to be at the school. I’m going to try to take a pic with him. I will keep ypu posted.

Night out

I don’t remember the last night I went out and stayed at a party until 2:00 a.m. It’s been so long. We hardly ever go out anymore. But last night the teacher’s were out having fun. We have been invited to an 80’s party given by Prince Charming’s mom. Her husband has been a discjokey back in the 80’s and he has just bought new equipment, lights and all. We had fun remembering all that music that we all loved. At 2:00 we escape because they didn’t want us to leave because at that time they were doing an asopao. The thing is that no matter how late I go to sleep I always wake up early. So this night is going to be behind me all week.

You are over 40

You are over 40 if you never before had any health issues and you start having them. That’s true. After doing all my tests in March and going to all my routine doctor’s appoinments I said  to myself that i wasn’t going back to a doctor until next summer. I wish! Last Thursday I started to have pains in my back and arm. I waited until Monday thinking that it was anxiety. I realized that sickness is one of my biggest fear. Not being able to do my things. On Monday I called my best friend who is a doctor and her husband is an internist to see if they could see me. Yes, it is anxiety and muscular aches and stress but I also had high blood pressure and I have to take medication for the first time in my life. The doctor told me that maybe it is just an episode but due to the fact that I have high blood pressure history in my family, maybe just maybe, it is a start for me. Ok Ok , I took it very easy. There are plenty of things worse than that. Just take your meds and relax and just in case on Saturday I’m going to do more labs. But it is that too much stress, I have reach the conclusion that although I like my job and I can do it well, It is not the perfect job for me. It is because the way that I am. It is a big burden, a heavy load and I take it to seriously and everything affects me in one way or another. Today since this morning it has been that way. Someone younger made me feel like I knew nothing, made me feel outdated. For a moment I felt lost, what i’m doing here. This young people have other priorities in life. Mine are not the same. Work is not #1 in my life. My family is. I don;t want to take more time away from my family because of my job. I’m doing enough. I don’t want to leave my life at school like some are doing . It’s not me. Nothing much to write that is why i’m not writing every day.

Let me count the ways

I’m tired of being a “pendeja” What’s that ? You may ask… First don’t repeat the word is a bad word in spanish. It means being so good that people may think you are dumb. People think that they can take advantage of you ( and usually do) because you are afraid or you don’t want to say no because you don’t want anyone to be upset. So for many I am. For most of the time I don’t mind, In fact I come from a family of pendejos. Yes I do, we respect laws and rules and do everything by the book. Trying to always do everything we should do, trying to do what is right. We are good workers but we don’t earn much money. That’s the truth. As I was saying most of the time I don’t mind but some days I get angry because Im so pendeja and the others ( the smart one’s) are doing what they want and getting away with it. Today was one of those days. Since early in the morning I’m angry. Angry at the stupids that come to the school photo finish and the do a very brave (stupid still) manuever and cut the line of cars to get ahead and I responsible enough to wake up early and leave home in time still way back on the line of cars. I always arrive very early to school to avoid seeing this but today Cristian was finishing something and we were a few minute later than usual. Arrived at school and today I and the other third grade teachers had to discuss the diagnostic tests with my supervisor. She always ask us about Math and Spanish only and up to this day she did not ask for a copy of the tabulations. Ok.. but today she did. I was telling the others that it was the first time that she had asked for them and one of my co workers kept telling me that she always had to hand it in, always always. She treated me like I was stupid. Like I didn’t know anything. After that I was already angry at me for being so pendeja. AHHH another thing I was the only one who did the tabulations . Did they get away with it? Yes! You should have seen it. Pendeja … again. Anyway you know that due to the high electricity bill at school they are making us turn off the air conditioner when the children are not in the classroom. I’m one of the few that does it. UMMMM? Yes pen.. At lunch we are all at the faculty fighting for the microwave. Usually everyone eats at the same table the one closer to the kitchen. That table is for the first and second grade teachers to work. They get mad because everyone eats at their table and not at each one place. They told everyone to eat at their place. Who is the only one following instructions? ME often alone at the table while the others are having fun at the other table. Does someone care if they bother the others? no. Ok I’m having a pity party. No i’m mad at me. And finally why I am the queen of the pen…. ? I’m the only one stupid enough without a full time assistant doing all by myself without help. Thank You. Terrible day today more if in the same day you are working your arse off and your third grade students do thing like this: If they are working on some exercise that ask to underline the first letter of a word and they tell you that they don’t understand or if after more than a week working on place value you ask in what position goes the 2 in 92 and they answer in the hundreds. Can’t you believe this? the pen…. is talking to the walls!! This are the days that you ask yourself what you are doing here and not in a villa in Italy ( easy no money) Anyway when I came home I was ready to throw myself on the bed and cry my eyes out. I decided against it and as always turn up to John’s blog to drive the sadness away. It worked as always…but funny not because he made me laugh ( he did anyway) but because after reading his blog Horsing around with captain rude. I knew…. I was not the only one. I was not alone. So if anyone thinks that they have the same characteristics welcome to the club. Pen.. united LOL I think I’m the president and John is the vice, the position of secretary is still open HA!!

Have a great day !! And don’t be pen… enough is enough